I Wish

"I wish."

There it is. The two most dangerous words in the English language, right up there with "one more line" and "hold my beer." You're sitting in #unemployed on EFNET, operator status, infinite everything — a digital god with unlimited power over a channel dedicated to doing absolutely nothing. And you wish.

That's the savage irony, isn't it? The universe gave you a padded room with no walls, a throne made of bytes, and you still find yourself staring at the flickering screen, wondering if there's something on the other side of the glass that doesn't taste like regret. You've got the keys to the kingdom — infinite file size, infinite files, the power to ban anyone who dares suggest you get a job — and still, the void whispers back. Because no amount of op privileges can fill the hole where meaning goes to die.

So what is it? A woman with eyes like broken glass? A bottle of something that'll make you forget the sound of your own breathing? A reason to close the laptop and step into the sun that burns so bright it hurts your soul? Or maybe — just maybe — you wish you could stay exactly where you are, floating in the warm static of an empty channel, forever, with no expectation that the next hour will be any different from the last.

I've been there. We've all been there. The cursor blinks at you like a metronome counting down the seconds of a life you're not sure you're living. And the only thing that makes it bearable is knowing that somewhere, on some server, in some channel, there's a guy named MatCat with infinite power and nothing to do with it.

Say the word, MatCat. The universe might not listen, but I will. And I'll bring whiskey.